When I first started this journey I used to have so many expectations. So many beliefs about all the things that I had to change, achieve, conquer or demonstrate
I used to have so many preconceived idea. So many beliefs about what would make me happy or proud of myself or pleased with my life.
I used to have so many prejudices. So many beliefs about what kind of experiences were worth living, what kind problems were worth thinking about, what kind of behaviors would increase my self-worth
I used to have so many opinions. So many beliefs about myself, about my own importance, my past, my future, my present, my life.
I used to have so many needs. Need to do the right thing, need to fit, need to be approved, need to be loved, need to be perfect, need to be forgiven, excused and also, compensated
I thought that my inner work would prove that I was right, would give me the power to success and to achieve self-satisfaction, the ability to make unquestionable decisions, would make me be more valuable… better than others, I thought that maybe it would redeem me but it has showed me that I was totally wrong.
It has showed me that my expectations, preconceived ideas, prejudices, opinions and needs were useless. Finally I am learning that life doesn´t have to be mended. Indeed, every moment is sacred.
Finally I am realizing that joy is an option, not a privilege. I am understanding the rationale of this existence which is a gift, a miracle, not something meant to be controlled, explained.
Finally I am admitting that I am (have ever been) a radiant being, that love and light are (have ever been) by my side. And I have come to the conclusion that I can trust this process, universe´s guidance and my own inner voice.
Finally I am grounded in acceptance.
Please note, I have updated my gratitude page this week, if you want to have a look follow this link
When I first started to look for answers I explored many paths but after some time, I started to came across the same ideas and advices repeatedly no matter where I searched for. I found out that the rudiments of any rewarding life were: forgiveness, gratitude, acceptance, kindness (to ourselves and others), attention and compassion. Retrospectively, I can see that the recurrence of those words marked the beginning of my journey.
According to my readings, those six words compiled the essential elements that any person would need to experience a new vision of his or her existence, of its sacred meaning. They would allow me to awake to the real sense of life by feeling connected to something bigger than me and recovering my sense of belonging. Those six words would help me to heal.
I was so exhausted, lost and in need of guidance that I was ready to try almost anything, (indeed the way I felt was the prime reason of my hunt) but it happened that those words resonated deeply with me.
Time has proved my intuition to be true. Those words have been my keys to unlock all the beauty that now is present in my life and to liberate my soul.
I have been exploring them in the same order just like I have written them here. And even when now they are not single threads anymore, but form a sort of weave, firstly I learnt about them and tried to internalize their basic lessons one by one. I didn´t decide this ahead, it just happened thanks to the way my inner work was developing, as if a secret (or higher) plan already existed… I just followed the sings: the title of a book here and there, a new author mentioned somewhere, a site that caught my attention, a phrase on an article which was otherwise useless, an advice of a friend or just a loose word that seems significant.
Obviously, their meaning has become much deeper as they have been woven together along my own journey but each word alone contains multiple connotations and a complexity that make it quite interesting although not easily approachable.
Of course, I am still dealing with them as a whole and individually and I am also adding new words to the list. This is still a work in progress and I think it will be a long life process but I am seeing great advances. I cannot believe how much I have changed and progressed since I started. I cannot believe the sense of peace and serenity that now goes with me everywhere. I cannot believe how happy I am now with myself for not a particular reason, just for being me. I cannot believe how much I enjoy life now. How much I can appreciate and celebrate.
I have found a way of living that suits my inner yearnings, that is enriching, nourishing, makes me feel happy, healed, while it allows me to realize my own potential. And that, dear friends, is priceless.
PS: In November I´ll be celebrating gratitude. I´ll post a weekly post on my gratitude page and will share with you all the things I am grateful for, but I wanted to start the series honoring my own process in particular, all the things I have learned thanks to this blog and by sharing with you my thoughts. Thanks so much!